Sweet and Bitter Oranges
by ArisuAmiChan
Summary: As much happiness as Ichigo Kurosaki finally had, the fact that Afro-San couldn't do his job still bothered him. Especially when he was teaching class. What did the guy do, trip over his own geta as he tried to get to the Hollow? IchiHime/Takes place about 2-5 years before the 10 year epilogue of manga/Rated T for language/One-shot


Ichigo cursed under his breath.

"Asshole." He sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and looked over his class.

At least three were trying to find the Hollow because they could feel but not see it. The five that could see it were already looking out the window and trying not to scream or run in fear. Everybody else had their focus on the work sheets he handed out for that day.

Then the denreishinki went off and alerted him to the Hollow causing trouble outside the college. The ones that heard it looked at him curiously.

Kon already knew the lesson plan. All he had to do was not fuck it up.

So Ichigo removed the green pill from his pocket and swallowed it.

There was that slight moment where he felt disorientation from the shift to Shinigami, but he got over it quickly. "I'll be back in a bit. You know what to do!"

The last thing Ichigo heard was "Picking up where we left off..." Before he just casually strolled out the open door and using shunpo to get outside faster.

At least now the lesson wouldn't be interrupted because he didn't bring Kon along. The last time he did that, he was nearly brought to the hospital for fainting. It didn't help that the incident in question occurred during summer on a rather hot day when the classroom's air conditioner broke.

Ichigo made it to the court yard and watched the Hollow rip up another tree. It threw the plant close to the school, nearly striking the windows to his classroom. "Can't I ever teach a class in peace?!"

Pulling both blades of Zangetsu off his back, Ichigo made his way to the monster and flared his reiatsu to get its attention. "You are one _ugly_ trash lord..."

The Hollow actually smelled like a garbage dump and the mask was shaped similarly to a trash can. Hopefully this would be an easy fight. He swung the smaller blade over his shoulders as the creature turned to face him in combat. It roared and charged at him.

"At least I don't have to stop at the gym on the way home." With a shunpo into the air, Ichigo attacked. His blade swung down and struck the white mask dead center, Hollow disintegrating shortly after.

Ichigo scowled at the thrown tree. "At least it's pretty windy this season or else they won't believe the tree..."

School bells rung, class dismissed for the day and Ichigo watching as a few students began to file outside and crowd around the tree. Some students -who were more spiritually aware and could see him- waved at him as he headed back inside. Others shivered, a cold breeze blowing by from where he walked past.

"I think Kurosaki-sensei has multiple personalities." Ichigo perked up at his name, eavesdropping on a few of his students talking about class.

"What makes you say that?" It was one of the kids that had seen Hollow outside. And she could see him, apparently. He waved, the young woman giving him a subtle nod back.

"He talked about boobs for the rest of the lesson. Like, the way he was talking about Titania's boobs during the discussion. And how he preferred some artists depictions over others because of the way they drew her boobs. Ten out of ten, though. I would sit in again, if only for the way he describes boobs."

Ichigo chuckled before continuing on his way. He wouldn't kill Kon this time. By the time he returned to his office, there were two voluptuous students with Kon discussing the lesson and the things they didn't understand.

"Oi. Lemme back in. I gotta grade some papers before I go." Ichigo jerked his thumb at the door, Kon making eye contact as Orihime's ringtone sounded on his actual cell phone.

"Excuse me, ladies. I'll be right back." Kon left the room and shut the door behind him, Ichigo and he in the classroom. "Ichigo~! You couldn't have waited a bit longer?!"

"Orihime's calling, Kon. Let me have my body back and I'll make sure Kazui doesn't suck on your ears again." The infant was already teething and in the terrible twos, Ichigo and Orihime having been together for five thus far.

He was happy. There weren't any wars to fight and he wasn't as stressed as he use to be. It felt good.

"Fine. But the one girl was really interested in you during the discussion. I think she likes you." Brown eyes rolled and Ichigo slipped into his body, Kon's pill coming up with a quick cough.

He checked his phone and replied to Orihime's text message asking where Kon's plush body was. Ichigo had pulled the Mod Soul free in the early morning before arriving to work and just tossed the lion plush under the coffee table. Again.

As he returned to his office, he checked his phone once more. This time it was a picture of Kazui, laid down for a nap and sucking on Kon's left ear. He smiled at the photo, saving it.

"Sorry about that. Orihime needed to know where Kazui's favorite toy was. Where did we leave off?"

* * *

**A/N:** Am I upset by the end pairing? Yes. Do I accept the fact that this is what we got? Yes.  
Will I continue to write GrimmIchi? Yes, because that is my OTP. Am I okay Ichigo hooked up with someone similar to his mother? Yes.

Was I on reddit between one to four am last night reading that Ichigo is an English Lit Major? Yes. Is Ichigo Kurosaki a teacher? Probably not, but fuck it all I want the Author!Ichigo & Teacher!Ichigo fics to happen.

And by god, did I make that happen at four in the fucking morning today! Kazui's like 6-10 when we meet him, too so like. It's not hard to believe that he was born within that ten year time skip. At least they got a cute freaking kid. I want more Kazui shit tbh. Fucking brat's adorable AF, I'm sorry!


End file.
